The only question that matters….

What do you say after your child competes?

Note:

1. Your reaction after a game tells your child what really matters
2. Unconditional love is the ultimate performance enhancer
3. One sentence can change everything

The most important moment isn’t the win, the goal, or the trophy.

…it’s what you say after they lose.

When they miss the shot. When they drop the ball. When they get cut.

That moment reveals what you truly value.

And your child is watching—closely.

---

Do you love the child—or the performance?

A 12-year-old boy once missed a match-winning goal. He walked off the pitch devastated.

His dad had a choice: criticise, console, or connect.

He knelt down and said:
“I love watching you play this game.”
Not: “We’ll work on that shot.”
Not: “You’ll get it next time.”
Just love. Pure and simple.

And that changed everything.

---

How does this work?

When a child knows their worth doesn’t depend on results, they:

1. Take more risks
2. Bounce back faster
3. Keep loving the game

When love feels conditional, kids:

1. Fear failure
2. Burn out
3. Eventually quit

---

Every time your child competes:

1. Say this after every game:
“I love watching you play.”
Win or lose, make this your go-to line.

2. Create a post-game ritual:
Ice cream. A hug. A silly handshake. Something fun and consistent—win or lose.

3. Never start with feedback.
Leave the analysis to the coach. Your job is love, not performance review.

4. Focus on effort and joy, not outcome.

• “Did you enjoy it today?”
• “What was the best moment for you?”
• “What did you learn?”

Ideas from here

Home » Mindset, Method & Culture >> Parent Comms, Children, Done » The only question that matters….