Involve your parents

3 key points:

1. Parents are sport’s greatest untapped resource, not its biggest problem
2. Most “difficult” parents are simply scared and uninformed, not malicious
3. Excluding parents creates more problems than including them

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How many times have you heard: “Parents are the problem.” “If we could just coach without parents.” “They’re ruining youth sport.”

It’s the biggest myth in sport – instead perhaps we have spent our time excluding parents.

I’ve seen clubs create “parent-free zones” and coaches who refuse to communicate beyond sending home schedules.

1. We built a system that excluded parents, then acted surprised when they became anxious and demanding.
2. We refused to educate them about development, then criticized them for having unrealistic expectations.
3. We treated them as customers instead of partners, then complained when they acted like customers.

Most “difficult” parents aren’t difficult – they’re worried. They love their kid desperately and don’t understand how sport works. They see other parents pushing for team selections and panic that their child will be left behind. They hear conflicting advice and don’t know who to trust.

When my son started football, I watched a father demand to know why his 8-year-old wasn’t getting more attacking opportunities. The coach rolled his eyes and muttered about “helicopter parents.” But when I talked to the dad later, he said, “I just want him to have fun and improve. Am I asking the wrong questions?”

He wasn’t a problem parent. He was an uninformed parent who needed guidance.

The parents-as-enemies myth has created sporting communities where:

1. Coaches hide behind “professional boundaries” instead of building relationships
2. Parents feel excluded and become more demanding
3. Kids get caught in the middle of adult conflicts
4. Clubs lose their strongest advocates and volunteers

Here’s what I’ve learned: when you include parents, educate them, and treat them as partners, they become your greatest assets.

1. I’ve seen football clubs where parents run fundraising that pays for equipment and facilities.
2. I’ve developed hockey programs where educated parents become volunteer coaches and officials.
3. I’ve witnessed clubs where parent education creates communities that support every child’s development.

The best sporting environments I know share three characteristics:

1. Regular parent education sessions
2. Clear communication about development philosophy
3. Opportunities for meaningful parent involvement

Yes, some parents will always be challenging. But most are just people who love their kids and want to help. 

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So in summary:

The parents-as-enemies myth has created unnecessary conflict in youth sport.

1. Stop fighting parents and start educating them.
2. Stop excluding them and start including them.
3. Stop seeing them as the problem and start recognizing them as the solution.

Most parents are allies waiting to be educated and included, not problems to be managed or excluded.

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